Christmas 2024 has many similarities to Christmases past for me.
I still celebrate with the same people. I still use the same decorations (some of which have been in the family since before I was born). I still have an absolute giddiness about the time of year that borders on too much, and I still want to spoil those I care about. Those who make life, life! Those who are part of my village. The biggest difference is, I refuse to spend money when I don’t have to.
Last Christmas… I gave you my heart. Sorry! Got distracted. Anyway!
As I was saying, last Christmas I sat down with my nearest and dearest and came up with the budget for Christmas 2024. We worked out how much we would need to save between us to make the festivities happen and we (the adults, not the children) each put away our portion into a savings account every month so that we could enjoy Christmas without the worry of how we would pay for it. The budget includes gifts, food, Christmas Trees, a trip to the garden centre to pick out a new decoration and any festive activities we wish to do as a family. We have budgeted before, but this is/was a new thought process for us and honestly it has taken away that underlying worry that many people have about the cost of Christmas and the festive season.
Thinking Things Through
Looking back at Christmases past I have not always been so thoughtful about how it would all come together. I never thought about a budget or saved throughout the year. In fact, I would regularly use my store credit cards and resorted to a payday loan at least twice, ignoring the fact that I would have to struggle to pay that money back for the rest of the year. I would end up buying piles of gifts without a budget or a list only to find out that I had bought 5 gifts for one person and 0 gifts for another. I would get so stressed about every detail; does the wrapping paper match the ribbon, does it have a label, is the price tag removed, has everyone got the same amount of presents etc the list goes on and on. Eventually it began to suck the joy out of the season, and I would often become ill from the stress and not be able to enjoy any of it.
Though I do not remember the exact turning point, I do remember that for several years in a row I would get so exhausted by something like decorating the tree or writing the Christmas cards that I would end up in tears or end up snapping at someone for no reason.
Then came a point when I realised that I was not alone in this feeling. Both family and friends told me that they were no longer excited about Christmas as the extra daily, weekly, monthly tasks and the financial burden was becoming impossible to manage. I remember a specific conversation with my sister after Christmas one year where we both looked and felt bones deep exhausted. We ended up discussing how to make it manageable financially, mentally and physically and help rediscover our joy for the season.
The Action Plan
We started with moving Christmas dinner to Christmas Eve, then we looked at what was costing us the most money and realised that we were spending close to what we would for a weeks’ worth of groceries on one meal! Next, rather than everyone buying for everyone each adult was assigned a child in the family to buy for, as well as their respective spouses. Each year we have discussed what worked and did not work for us and each year has become a little easier.
It was challenging to tell my family and friends I wanted to dial things back; though past me never would have imagined having such an open conversation about how the financial requirements of Christmas were causing me stress, I regret not having the conversation sooner. From these conversations, and after a bit of trial and error, we have implemented a set of rules including:
- All members of the family must complete a list to Father or Mother Christmas to ensure that no one is receiving unwanted or ‘charity shop’ gifts (gifts that will be in the charity shop within 6 months of receipt)
- Second hand gifts are gratefully accepted
- It does not matter what it is wrapped in, we love a bit of hand decorated recycled paper!
- Time together is a completely acceptable gift (making the Christmas cake together is one of our treasured activities)
- Homemade and handmade gifts are amazing and should be encouraged.
- Matching Christmas PJs & Jumpers are absolutely not necessary.
- Absolutely no one wants a lynx deodorant gift set.
There are more rules but those are quite specific to our family traditions. These are likely to be the most relevant and easy to transfer to other families.
The Pay Off
You may think, well hang on this is excessive – and past me would agree with you however me now, in the present is so grateful to be able to buy for a few people and know that I do not have to go and buy for every member of my family, plus friends, plus work Secret Santa etc. Present me is grateful that the funds for Christmas are there, and no debt will be accrued. Present me loves nothing more than putting on the Christmas jumper she has had for many years and being able to make a Christmas Cake with those I love instead of going shopping for the 7th time that week. Present me is glad to be present.
Article by Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
