Paying the Premium of a Life Well Lived
For many of us, living alone sounds like absolute luxury. The decadence of eating cheese for dinner, with no one to complain of malnutrition, the luxury of sleeping with the windows wide open without protests of hyperthermia, no one to criticise my terrible music taste or my weird decorating style.
All of this is true – it IS a luxury. Coming home to a calm and peaceful house and not having to carry the weight of someone else’s mental load feels extravagant, fortunate and even a little bit rebellious.
But living alone comes with quite a hefty price tag.
I Got Bills I Need to Pay
According to smartmoneytools.co.uk, the UK average monthly utility bill for a household of 1 to 2 people is £147.94 per month. The same bill for a family of 3 is £200.07 (£100 per adult). So, I’m already almost £50 worse off each month before I’ve even left the house.
Then there’s council tax. Single Occupancy entitles us to 25% off the bill. I do understand why it’s not 50% – my bins are never full, but whether it’s a full bin from a two adult household or a practically empty bin from a one adult household, the cost of collecting it each week is the same. The lamp post outside my house is lit however many adults are in my home. The emergency services, the road repairs, the social care, education…. I don’t begrudge a penny of it, but it’s still an increased cost single people have to factor in.
And we all know what a trip to the supermarket costs at the moment… although I actually think the dopamine hit of filling the freezer with yellow-stickered produce is something even the wealthiest of us should enjoy.
The Unseen Cost of Being the Default Parent
Throw an 18 year old “child” into the mix and we unlock a whole new set of expenses. My daughter has just finished her A levels and is working two jobs to fund her teenage dirtbag lifestyle. With University looming in September, she should be frantically saving every penny, but like most 18 year olds, she lives in the moment and is making the most of her newfound freedom. And given the pressures of our outdated education system, the overwhelming debt she’s soon to find herself in and the worryingly normalised Cost of Living Crisis, who can really blame her?
Spreading the cost of the initial University outlay is helpful. Every supermarket shop now includes an extra bag of pasta, tin of soup, bottle of kitchen cleaner (never to be used). Christmas presents this year will be shower gel, toilet paper and toothpaste. Evidently, my shopping bill will go down, as will my utilities (how many showers does one 18 year old need?!), but I’m under no illusion that I’ll be any better off – the “mum contribution” to her living costs is still under negotiation, but according to Mr Martin Lewis, my contribution is likely to be in excess of £1500 per year (this is for living costs only – not tuition fees).
Personally, I think that’s hugely understated, but I look forward to being proven wrong.
The "Sacrifices"
By choosing to live alone, I’ve chosen quiet evenings at home instead of rowdy nights out with other couples. I’ve chosen boozy afternoons of G&Ts around the kitchen table with close friends instead of elegant lunches in overpriced restaurants. I’ve chosen annual leave spent pottering in the garden instead of sunning myself on Spanish beaches.
I’ve chosen finding elements of joy in beautiful vintage wine glasses from charity shops and re-discovering old clothes I’d forgotten I had, instead of “treating myself” to a day at the shops.
I’m not sure it’s possible to call any of these sacrifices – these are the luxuries I’ve come to adore.
So What's the Answer?
More people than ever are choosing to live alone. At the risk of becoming too political, I see this current change as a key component of the fourth wave of feminism. Just like our predecessors in the lead up to the 1920s women’s suffrage movement, the bra-burning of the 1960s and the postmodern feminists of the 1980s, the last decade has seen a substantial shift in what it means to be an equal partner. The (slowly) dawning realisation that we achieved equality in the work place only to find ourselves in the unenviable position of being responsible for the workload equivalent of two full time jobs, and the apparently endless identification of partnership “gaps” between couples has got a lot of us thinking, is living together really worth it?
For me, the Singles Tax isn’t about how tough single parents have it. It’s not something I’m in a position to complain about. I don’t begrudge a penny I spend on the home and lifestyle I have created for myself and my daughter.
By choosing to reframe the term from the Singles “Tax” to the Singles “Premium”, I can acknowledge that my position is a choice. And the increase in costs is not a charge imposed upon me by a society built on the demographic model of a married couple.
I choose to live alone, to pay more for the privilege, and I am incredibly fortunate to be able to do so. Of course my life costs me more now than it did when I was married. Is it worth it? A thousand times, yes.
Article by Charlotte Simpson
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